For most New Yorkers (and many around the world), we’ve been in quarantine for five months now. While some may find this type of existence a peaceful time to relax and enjoy their own space, some may find it lonely and difficult to navigate without friends and family around, while others find it extremely taxing and exhausting after being forced to see their significant other 24/7.
If you’ve checked in with your boo’d up friends lately, you’ve most likely heard from the latter: “he’s driving me crazy!” “she doesn’t even do the dishes!” “I can’t wait for this quarantine to end so we can break up”.
If this sounds like your home, here are a few tips to survive a pandemic partnership:
Establish boundaries: Although it’s best to establish boundaries (both physically and figuratively) at the beginning of relationships, there’s no time like the present to revisit and reestablish certain relationship rules.
For example, if you and your partner are both working from home, set a physical boundary by setting up your desks/work areas away from each other. Even in a tiny studio or one-bedroom, you can designate specific corners.
While physical boundaries are just the first step, mental and emotional boundaries are perhaps the most important. For example, asking that you not be interrupted during working hours is a simple yet reasonable request.
Do you need a few minutes of me-time before you start your day? Or after your workday ends? Communicate that to your partner. I personally like to enjoy a warm bath, a glass of wine, and a snack all by myself after an extremely stressful day at work.
Schedule time to reconvene each day: With the setting of boundaries in mind, it’s best to discuss when the imaginary wall is lifted. Do you all reconvene and catch-up about your day over dinner? Or perhaps, you run a few errands together? Set a time each day when you put away work and all your devices and find time to reconnect.
An at-home date night is a great way to flex some creative muscles and reconnect. Try doing an online cooking class together or camping in the living room – pitching an actual tent and making smores!
Get outside: I know I know…we’re not supposed to be outside right now. But as long as you’re social distancing and wearing your mask, it’s okay to take some time to get some fresh air. Go to your local park and ride bikes or have a picnic. This is a great activity to do on your own or with your significant other; whichever you please at that moment. Nothing is more refreshing for the mind than some fresh air and some sun!
Talk about money: Although it may feel awkward, you cannot avoid talking about money. Some have been without employment for months and are finding alternative ways to support themselves whether that be through self-employment, financial support from friends or family, or unemployment.
Don’t be afraid to talk about money and be honest about what your current situation is and what your fears are. According to a 2018 survey by Ramsey Solutions, money fights are the second leading cause of divorce. Talking about money openly and honestly upfront will minimize the awkwardness and tension that comes with these conversations.
