Would you date yourself?
I mean not literally, but would you want to be around someone just like you? Are you sometimes moody, needy, short tempered, not manicured, unhealthy or lacking a nurturing side? And the list is endless.
We always have very high expectations towards others, whether in friendship, love or business but how often do we live up to these expectations ourselves?
I have often caught myself feeling disappointed in a friend for not being there for me or not staying in touch on a regular basis, but then I know I have the same flaws and probably many more.
Of course PMS or a degree of sexual frustration are the perfect excuses, but ultimately nobody wants to deal with your mood swings and specially not if they have NOTHING to do with them. On that note, don’t blame a guy on something another guy did to you in the past. Not a single guy wants to hear how terrible all men are.
I’m going to challenge you this week: imagine you’re dating yourself. Write down anything and everything that bothers you. Maybe you haven’t put much thought into what you are wearing. Maybe you spoke meanly to a colleague or didn’t tip a waiter well. Does your apartment look likes it’s just been burgled? Is your refrigerator bare? Or maybe you just haven’t been to the gym, and aren’t so bothered by that either. It could even just be that you’re lining up a couple more dates this week. Would these things bother you in someone else?
Write it all down, and seriously consider if you’d be dating you today.
1) What would you like to see change?
2) Would these issues bother you in someone else and have you turned guys away because of the same flaws you have?
Most relationships we have in life are brought to us for a purpose. To grow and self improve. It could be to bring out in us something we need to be working on. And often the personality traits that bother us the most in others are in fact what we should be working on in ourselves.
So now, here’s another assignment:
Think of two people in your life that push your buttons. These could be a family member, your spouse or a friend. Write down why they trigger your reaction. What is it that’s so annoying with these individuals even if you still LOVE them. Lastly, do you have the same faults?
Dr G’s instruction for the week: stop looking for the IDEAL guy. Look at yourself and become the ideal woman that your ideal guy would WANT.