5 Reasons Why I Didn’t Call You Back

girlfriend

Dear ladies, the point of the first date is to get to the next date. Yes it is important that I get to know the real you, it is also important that we form a bond throughout these dates. It is most important that we have fun, if we’re not having fun, then why are we even dating?

Here are some common reasons why I stopped texting or calling some woman back.

1.You activated my hoe alarm

alarm-clock

Every man has a hoe alarm. Don’t trip the hoe alarm or else you’ll forever be a hoe in his mind. As a man I enjoy abundant amounts of sex, but the value of your sex goes down every time I think your number gets higher. Things like having 7 kids, having more than 30 partners, being on Maury more than once, or being overly sexual to the point of being desperate (like pulling out your boob at the dinner table), will activate the hoe alarm, and hoes don’t get called back.

You gotta allow a man to be a man. Let me chase you, let me put in work, don’t give me the panties on the first date unless you plan on just having a one night stand. You know that saying about the cow and the milk, its true. Now you can’t just hold out forever, cuz I’ll leave and find another chick, just assess the situation accordingly and make sure you’re good at what you do. Give me a blow job I’ll remember.

2. I found someone better

Sometimes it’s really not you. In the modern dating world, you have to realize that unless my Facebook status says “In a relationship,” or I start introducing you as my girlfriend, I’m going to date around. This puts you at a disadvantage seeing that there might be someone out there a little more awesome than you. It’s up to YOU to make sure that I don’t see anyone else. It’s really all about keeping me blind to other chicks:

“Keep  Your Man From Cheating”

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3. You have the all men are dogs mentality

If I’m taking time out of my day, to take you out on a new experience with my hard earned money, and you’re not grateful and you’re stuck in this crazy “he’s just a dog that’s going to cheat on me” mentality or the classical “all men are worth nothing mentality” its going to show. Especially on your face.

stankface

You might have had a string of bad relationships, but lets face it, you chose the guys that you wanted to be with. Granted, I’m sure you don’t want to be with the shy guy who doesn’t have the guts to talk to you but don’t take it out on me.

At this point everything becomes a struggle, I’ll do something nice for you and you act… crazy about it. In my mind you’ve officially been put in the unattractive bin.

The funny part about this is what gets your attention is when I start treating you bad. I’m not in high school so I’ll pass.

4. I was drunk when I got your number

drunkguy

This one is totally my fault. I’ll be at the club doing my thing and I’d have one too many. Unfortunately, I’ll have extreme beer goggles and get anyone’s number who is mildly cute. When I do call you back for a date please dress as well as I saw you at the club because I will be surprised and caught off guard. Clubs are dark, and me being a bit drunk, adds + 3 to your rating between 1 and 10 (10 being the highest).

Now looks only count in the beginning, they’re used to attract us to a mate. If we’re on this date, just make sure you impress me with your personality.

5. You aren’t happy

A woman who is happy, confident, and doing something with her life is the most attractive woman out there. Happiness is important, it shines through all of your actions. It makes you approachable, cool, and funny. True beauty comes from a woman who’s happy with herself.

Angry girl-GIF

Pissed woman are ugly.

It’s come to my attention that women with major life problems such as baby daddy drama, money issues, and ex boyfriend craziness brings out the worse in woman. Sometimes these problems are unavoidable, but save those problems for date 5 or 7 after we’re really feeling you and you’ve made us a couple of sandwiches.

 

Don’t fret ladies. It happens, just take it as a learning experience and do better next time.

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